"Everyone back; my heart's at war"

Well, in the beautiful lyrics from the jon mclaughlin song quoted above, i couldn't have said it better myself! These past couple of weeks have been a little harder than I expected. All these new adult things that I have to take care of by myself get to be a little overwhelming, especially since it's all new to me! For the majority of my past existence, I have only been a student. As well as only knowing how to be a student, I've also always been surrounded by people! Especially college.....gosh people were everywhere! And it was great--although there were times when you would wish for some good alone time! As I neared graduation in April, I was ready for that alone time. But as I look back right now, it is in the silence that I miss the familiar voices and laughs of those I grew so close to. I know that part of the sadness just comes from this change that was inevitable. Beginnings suck. As exciting as this new part of my life is, there are also times when I wish so badly to be around my friends that i love so much! HOWEVER, it helps to talk to all of you and know that we are all in the same boat right now! Keeping in touch and sharing our lives even through the distance helps so much more than I can explain. I am not discouraged (though this has sounded like it!) ......I know that once I get plugged into a good church and meet people at work that things will get better.

On a lighter note, this past week was my FIRST WEEK OF WORK!!!! It was just orientation to the hospital and to their computer program and things like that--but it gave me a chance to mentally prepare for what I am about to do! haha! If you'll notice, there is a picture of my badge they gave me at work! When I looked down at it the first time, I wanted to throw up a little bit! haha...because this means I'M OFFICIAL!! Those red letters that say RN mean registered nurse-that's kind-of a big deal! It makes me wanna turn over the badge so no one can ask me questions....ha! But in the words of uncle ben from spiderman: "with great power comes great responsibility." And THAT responsibility definitely scares me at this point. It's all so exciting, but crazy that it is all reality right now. After one week of learning about the hospital, I can honestly say that I am completely excited about working for this hospital in particular. I have heard such good things about it from people who aren't paid to tell me that, and everyone who i've met from the hospital has proved the reputation. It has just been such a good experience so far that I'm very excited to work for them! They willingly answer any questions and are earnestly working to make sure that I feel comfortable before getting "thrown out there." Next week is when I actually start working on my unit with my preceptor. My preceptor is a person that guides me for the next 8-12 weeks. I basically follow her around for a little bit and learn from working with her, then i'll have my own patients but I will still answer to her for a few more weeks. She basically keeps an eye on everything I do and helps me learn how I can do things better or more efficiently. I am more than excited to learn everything I can during this time. Sure...i want to run away and throw up a little when I think about it at times, but I figure if millions of other people out there have become nurses then surely it's possible! So anyways....next week is the start of all that....and I am working on the orthopedics unit (bones and joints stuff!) on the night shift!

Funny note:
The sun shines so brightly here in AZ that it looks like all my lights are on in my bedroom in the morning when the sun rises. haha.....so my loving cousin mara hooked me up with an extra eye mask she had so that I could keep that pesky sun out of my eyes when I'm trying to sleep! And yes, I use it faithfully every night now! I also put on a picture of myself and my cousins mara and jason livin' it up at the pool! It sure has been great having my cousins close by! I just love them so much! AND....the sunsets here have been GORGEOUS! And although this picture doesn't exactly do it justice, I thought I would post it anyway! I'll try to get a better picture another time!

Well, that's all I have for now! Sorry a lot of this post was kinda depressing! I really am looking forward to all these new adventures in life, it's just very bittersweet. But God is still good and faithful, and that in itself is enough to get me through the day! Love you all!