So I've been loving reading books by Donald Miller lately (the guy who wrote Blue Like Jazz), and he wrote another one called "Through Painted Deserts." I only started with the author's note the other day, and i about started balling my eyes out b/c it was so true and SO where i'm at in life right now. So.....I'm gonna type a bit of it out--b/c it explains so well what is going on right now!
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"I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. All my life I have been changing. ......
......Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons. ......
..........And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?
It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: Leave.
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."
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So, this is me explaining that this is the closest thing that describes why it is I left home to come out west! I can't really explain it other than I had to leave. Not to leave anyone in particular, not even to leave indiana; i just had to leave and see some new scenery for a while. I am still on some long, unknown journey of finding myself or...something. haha. But I know that whatever happens, this decision will never be regretted because it makes sense that we, as people, have to change. We get bored, and take things for granted. And we need change--whether it is permanent, or whether it just makes us appreciate the things we once took for granted.
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